“I don’t know” is actually a key that can free us from the prisons of our own minds and our rigid ideas and our oh-so-limiting sense of self if we allow it to. Today, I led a meditation for a group of people exploring the concept of “I don’t know.” I’ve written it down and recorded it – and I want to share it with you here. Enjoy! And if you feel so moved, I would love to hear your thoughts, feelings, and insights in the comments.
As for FOMO, I’m learning to simply trust that any information I need will get to me. Any experiences I’m meant to have will happen. I’ll be in the right place at the right time. Anyone I’m meant to meet will show up in my life. Anyone I’m meant to work with will find me. I’m out in the world. People can find me and choose to work with me. I’m happy to help. AND … I’m also super happy to not feel like I have to chase people and constantly ask them to come work with me. I don’t want to do that. It doesn’t feel good. It’s not that I’m shy. It’s not that I feel unworthy. Neither of those is true. It just doesn’t feel good … and I’m all about feeling good.
What I do believe matters is that our spirituality is founded upon basic principles and ethics that include the sanctity of human life, as well as love, respect, reverence, kindness, tolerance, generosity, forgiveness, and all of the qualities one would expect in our higher nature. Basic human decency. Compassion. Empathy.
We need to have a sense of worthiness that is independent of what we can do for or offer to others, that is independent of how we look or what we accomplish. Just by virtue of being alive, we are worthy of all of the good that life has to offer. We are worthy of love – of loving and of being loved. So many of us feel that we are only worthy if we look a certain way or if we accomplish certain things – as if we had to somehow earn our innate worthiness.
Rather than focusing on all of the good things that could happen, I’ve fallen into the dreadful habit of considering all of the potential risks, disasters, or various other “bad” things that could happen – and have managed to basically shut down my life, locking myself into a prison of my own fearful thinking. All of my caution and “control” hasn’t actually kept me safe at any time. On the contrary, terrible, painful things have still happened – and my fears and caution have only inhibited my aliveness and my life choices. My fearful thinking has shut me down and sometimes even left my will to live hanging by a thread.
My greatest passion in life is to create and hold safe space for people (including me) to be our full, authentic selves – in all of our uniqueness and diversity and sacredness. I want you to feel safe to explore, to question, and to be who you really are. Get in touch with your inner voice, your true feelings, desires, and beliefs. Who are you when you let go of perfectionism and approval seeking – and instead simply allow yourself to be fully human – to be YOU?
Do you ever say “yes” or “okay” when you really want to say “no”? Do you default to “politeness” rather than speaking your truth, taking up space, defending yourself, and/or standing your ground regarding what you actually want? Are you able to check in with yourself and say and do what needs to be said and done to meet your own needs in any/every situation? Does “no” come easily when that is what your truth is?
Sometimes the Universe doesn’t give us what we want and believe we deserve. If we pay attention, we just might see that we’ve been given something even better – and that the delays and struggles were essential to our path.
Just in time for Fat Liberation Month (May), I am releasing my latest book, Embracing Awkward: A Collection of Writings on Life, Love, Body Image, Fat Liberation, Sexuality, Vulnerability, and Standing Strong. This book is fat-positive, sex-positive, contains some profanity, and the last chapter is sexually explicit in parts. It’s not for everyone, but some of you might love it!
I’ve got boundaries on my mind. It’s a topic I’ve contemplated for decades, but I feel like through a confluence of circumstances, I am finally stepping into my own truth and power around boundaries. I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out, but I am saying that I’ve come a long ways down thisContinue reading “Reflections on Boundaries”