What are you going to do?
We play small in our lives for lots of reasons, most of them fear-based. We are afraid of failure. We are afraid of rejection. We are afraid of ridicule. Hell, we are even afraid of success. Most of all, perhaps, we are afraid of change. Even success brings change – and the unknown possibilities can feel daunting … even in the face of a life that is less than what we’d like.
What if it didn’t have to be that way? What if we could move beyond the fears which paralyze us in place, that silence our truths, and that keep us from living our full lives? What if we could claim our own place and power in the world and live from that space of alignment with our authentic selves? I’ve found the best way for me to break free in my life is to be willing to be awkward and just do it.
So, I’d like to invite you to get awkward. Express how you feel. Make it awkward. Say what you want. Awkward is your ticket to the best things in life.
Think about it. Sex (for example) is so awkward! Especially the first few times you’re with someone and getting to know them. After that it’s awkward if you want to do something different or try something new. It can feel super awkward telling someone you don’t really like how what they’re doing feels. Right?! But if you don’t, then you not only lose intimacy with them, but you also betray yourself and you own needs – which, taking care of you and your needs is your biggest responsibility!
Asking for love or friendship or a certain kind of relationship can be awkward. Whenever we feel vulnerable or exposed, we generally feel awkward … also scared, don’t know what to expect, nervous, and a whole variety of different feelings, based on our past experiences and traumas, our attachment styles, etc.
Even just communicating what is true for us in each moment is awkward for many of us! Some of us are so socialized into people-pleasing that disagreeing or expressing that you don’t like something or saying anything that might disappoint someone feels awkward and full of angst. So many of us filter everything we say through our over-thinking brains, imagining how something will land for someone else and what impression that will give them of us … it’s exhausting! And sometimes, we don’t even know what we really think or feel because we are so socialized and conditioned to think and be a certain way!
What if we were friends with awkward? What if we didn’t avoid awkward? What if we took away some of those filters and stopped censoring everything we say, think, and feel? What if we stopped being so scared about ruining our lives and focusing on all the things that could go wrong … and instead started being deeply committed to fully living our lives and expressing ourselves authentically – and visualizing all the things that could go right?
In my life, I’ve found it the most difficult to ask for the things I most want and need. Have you found that? Like, when I most need a hug or to be held is when I am least able to ask for it. When I don’t care so much either way, it’s easy to open my arms for a hug.
Having desires is awkward. Especially if you don’t know if you’ll get them met – or be rejected or disappointed. Disappointment is awkward! We don’t like to feel it – and many of us are uncomfortable even witnessing it. You feel bad for the person, but … ugh! It’s so awkward!
Listen, we need to stop making being uncomfortable and feeling awkward something to avoid at all costs! To live our best, most self-expressed lives, we need to embrace awkward! We need to run toward it like an old friend! If we can do that, our entire world will open up! Dreams will come true. We may not get everything we want, but we’ll get so much more than if we never ask or never try for it! So much more than we have now, sitting quietly in our “safe” places, doing the same things, living, as Thoreau put it, “lives of quiet desperation.” Is that what you want for yourself? That is NOT what I want for myself! My ego needs to get out of the fucking way … I want to bring on the awkward!
And by that, I mean, I want to speak what is true for me, not hide behind “politeness” or fear. I want to be real. Perhaps selectively. Not everyone deserves our whole truth – not everyone is safe, not everyone is honorable, respectful or trustworthy. We get to be discerning about with whom we share our selves. But we also get to choose to live our lives in whatever way we choose, in whatever each moment brings up for us. We don’t always have to be the same!
You know what’s really awkward? It’s when someone puts you in a box – and you feel weird pulling yourself out of that box, but you don’t belong in there! When someone thinks of you in a certain way and you want to do something that seems “out of character” for the person they think you are (or even the person that you think you are). So, you’re a quiet person, but when the music hits, you want to dance like a wild maniac. That can feel awkward! Especially if people haven’t seen the side of you that likes to dance! But dance you MUST if you are going to live your full, happy life!
My friend Kim Baron and I are offering several intro workshops to our 2 day workshop that’s coming up June 10-11, 2023, which explores these things and how to reclaim your power, your voice, and your life. Check the workshops out HERE and see if you’d like to join us! We have several different dates and times, so hopefully there will be a convenient time for you!
I also do individual sessions and programs if you’d like some support and nurturing as you venture into your own power and expression. I’m happy to hold safe space for you and watch you open to your best life! Find more about what I offer HERE.
Now, go do something awkward and love yourself through it! I’m here for you, cheering you on! Go, Team Awkward!